Happy And Memorable Past

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Few days ago, I chatted online with my former classmate in the ESL class, and we talked about the classes that we're planning to take. Then both of us brought our own pasts to the topic, as we continued to chat, a lot of my own past were flashing in my mind… My school life in Macau, hanging out with my best friends during lunch time, copying homework each other, exchanging tips for tests and exams, studying together, sharing happy together… So many, so many of happy time that I can't remember all of them.



All of my happy moment has become a past, a memory that left in my heart forever. All of my happy moment can only be recalled from my memory, it's not going to be happened again… I can never get those happy moments back, and I'm regretted why I didn't treat those happy moments as my treasure… If I were able to turn the clock back to ten years ago, how nice would that be?!

Is there a way to allow me having some happy moment --- again?

I always wish I have my own FCP on my computer, so that I could have better experience on that application. The bad thing is I don't even own a Mac, how could I have FCP?

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How To Communicate With A Conservative

The answer is very simple: There is no way, no way to communicate with a conservative. No matter who you are, you can never have a way to deal with a conservative. Conservative always thinks he is always right and others are wrong. There is a Chinese saying "食古不化", which means swallow ancient learning without digesting it. 

It's the best way to describe conservative, OK? "Feudal way of thinking" is also a good phrase to describe. WTF! 食古不化! 食古不化!

An Ugly Apartment Unit With The Walls Badly Damaged!

OK, take a look on this video, this is the inside of an apartment unit located in the Tenderloin District in San Francisco. You can see the walls, part of the ceilings inside the bathroom and kitchen are badly damaged. Why are the wall are damaged so badly, it's all about the landlord. The landlord of that building ordered someone to demolish the walls and ceilings inside several apartment units in the building, and her reason was to satisfy the order of the City government. The inspection has been over for more than 7 months, but the walls and ceilings have never been fixed. It's a broken apartment unit, it looked like this 7 months ago, and it still looks like this now.

Unfortunately, I'm living in one of those broken apartment units.

Living Inside An Ugly Apartment Unit!

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Yes! I've been so furious and frustrated for months by living in this ugly apartment unit! See? The walls and ceilings are badly damaged. The walls inside the bathroom and kitchen... I don't know how to describe them. I don't know what I can say.

So why are my apartment unit badly damaged? It's all about the landlord of the building. The landlord issued an order to her tenants of several apartment units in last November, and she requested that the walls and ceilings inside those apartment units should be demolished, she said that it was an order issued from the Government of the City and County of San Francisco. Fine, if you want to demolish them, please tell us in advance on the date and time, so we could prepare. However, on a Saturday in last November, a Korean foreman, along with two Hispanic workers suddenly came to our apartment unit, all of them were holding a hammer. They said that they were executing the order from the City Government as well as the landlord, and then they started demolish the walls inside the kitchen and bathroom. I was so frustrated for what they did! They never told me when they would come, never. And they just came suddenly, it was really outrageous! Wasn't it?

Another frustration is about the fixing of those damaged walls. November, December, January... May, June, July, and August is around the corner! For more than 8 months, the walls are still unfixed. The inspection from the City Government has been finished for months, but the walls and the ceilings inside my apartment unit have been left as is since then!

What would you do if you're living inside that apartment unit?

To see more pictures for the broken apartment unit and the garbage, click here.

It's All About My Brother ---- Again.

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I'm here to talking about my brother once again, every time when I talk about him, there is only bad thing, lots of trouble of him, and the biggest problem is he never admit his faults and try to get rid of his bad behavior.

I always want him not getting into trouble, I also tell him that if he would like to get into trouble, there would be no way to turn his life around. He never listens to my advise, he thinks my advise and myself are hateful, are "bullshit", but I still have give my kindly advise to him. The reason? I don't want him to be a bad guy, I don't want him to make himself or make other people trouble, once he does it, he can't help himself and no one can help him, too.

Runescape is his everything, nothing is more important than that, I don't know, I really don't know when he will become good and get rid of all his bad...

Outrageous! Outrageous?!

Please spend a few moment to read this blog post. What do you think?

http://blog.lostlake.org/index.php?/archives/99-Burn-your-TransLink-card.html

Sometimes... If You Gained Something... You'd Lost A Lot of Things...

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It looks like a very mysterious topic. What is gain, what is loss? Is there a clear and exact definition for "gain"? no. How about "loss"? neither. We can only understand the definitions by living in this World. When you are getting older, you will know more about gain and loss.

When I first came to this country, I had already given up many good things and good memories in Macau. It's a really painful process that not everyone understands. Forgot about my original life, getting into my new life. Forgot about all of my good buddies in Macau for indefinite period of time, getting alone right here everyday. Forgot about my happiness and living in fear and anxiety every single day. When I had a chance to actually gain something back, I was not able to do it. Why? Because I had lost so many things, and I feel numb. What are my gains right here? Not so much. What about my loss? Too much to be counted?

Years after years, I think gain and loss is not that important, but one thing I still can't get it back is my happiness, I've been living in fears for almost 9 years! I really want to get out of fears! Happiness is my wish, it is also my gain.

Strongly Criticizing San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency

I think that the SFMTA is really ridiculous! Around 12:30 pm today, I just got out from a bookstore in the Lake Merced district and waited for the Line 18, there were also a few people waiting for that bus line. I checked with the bus arrival time, they said the next Line 18 would be coming in about 20 minutes. All right. The "18" was actually coming roughly 20 minutes later, but it stopped moving few hundred feet away. Then the driver changed the headsign to "NOT IN SERVICE", it turned out the horn of that bus was malfunctioned, the horn was keep on sounded and it was really noisy.

Okay. That's not the main problem. What matters is that bus driver didn't call for her supervisor and SFMTA to send a bus for back up, she just drove away from the bus stop. The even more ridiculous thing actually happened 20 minutes later, (yes, another 20 minutes!) another "18" was going away without any reason! That bus driver just drove his bus away! I didn't see there was problem on that bus, but the driver just drove it away! That left all of us to wait for the same line for another 20 minutes! It's really ridiculous! The regular "18" has service every 20-25 minutes, but this afternoon I waited for at least three "20 minutes", that means I waited for the "18" for 20x3=60, 25x3=75! I waited more than an hour for that bus line!

Outrageous! Outrageous! SFMTA doesn't follow the schedule to provide bus service! Beware that you may have to wait one day for a bus in the future because they provide service whenever they like!

Esses São Meus Ganhados

I always believe that something you have to fight for something before you can get something. If you have tried to do it, even though you can't get it at last, it's still a gain.

This morning, I went to the CCSF's Financial Aid Info Center and asked about the CAL Grant Application process, the front desk lady told me, "Oh, it's already passed the deadline, you can't apply now, the deadline was March 2nd this year, you can't apply anymore.…" Then I asked her, "I heard about there's another deadline for Community College students, which is September 2nd this year." She looked surprised and asked me if there's another deadline for CAL Grant. Then she confirmed with her supervisor, and her supervisor said that's true. CAL Grant has two deadlines for Community College students. The supervisor then asked me a few question, and she told me that CCSF will sent out my GPA verification form to CAL Grant, I'd know how much grant I get this upcoming September. The application has been processed.

Right now, I just think of this, good things will not drop from the sky unless you work hard to fight for it. When you work hard, even though you may not get everything you want, you can still taste the sweet. I believe that is true for happiness, we should strive for our happinesses. When you get it as you want, it'll just like "esses são meus ganhados".

My new look

I just got my haircut this afternoon, $12, a reasonable price i think. The bad thing is that my new look has no difference with my previous look... Lol!

Writing A Short And Pithy Prose

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On a not so cool but not so warm afternoon, holding a can of soda, looking at my ESL grade card, a lot of things appear in my mind. Working hard on writing, grammar, and the vocabulary. Last semester I have developed a lot of my writing skills, writing a good essay is never that easy, or we would become novel authors.

Then what is a good essay? I don't know what's needed for good essay because I'm still a English learner, I don't know if rhetoric like simile, metaphor, etc. is needed for English essay, but I do know many schools and teachers preferred a concise and clear essay rather than a beautiful but hard to understand paper. Which means we need to write and learn how to write something short and pithy, we all need that skill, that shall be good for our future. I enjoyed writing something freely, prose is always my first choice.

Maybe next time I can write some proses and post them right here. Write something I want to write, it's that kind of freedom.

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Interpersonal Communication

I know that many people criticize on my bad interpersonal communication, and I don't know how to communicate with people, I never deny my faults, and I always work hard to get rid of them, but sometimes it's not that easy as I think, especially for a person who was born and raised in a family with no communications.

My parents were divorced back in 2008, but their de facto divorcement was begun more than 20 years ago, which means at the time when I was 3, 4 years old. I don't know if that's coincidence or not, from my grandfather's generation, almost every male family member is bad on interpersonal communication. Of course my father is not an exception, and I think his communication skills are really bad compare to his two younger brothers, my two uncles. My father doesn't talk too much at home, and he seldom talks to me. Honestly, I don't really want to talk to him because he often makes my troubles and my difficulties worse, and he only knows how to curse... There're really few moments to care about his children. In conclusion, it's bad communication, bad communication and bad communication!

I really want to communicate with other people, but sometimes I can't find a good discussion topic to talk about, also my background seriously affecting my behavior. Or I don't give myself any excuse, right? I hope in some days, I could get rid of my bad communication.