Escape From My Life

No doubt about it, I have been feeling so upset for many days, or to say it more accurately, I have never been able to seek happiness for the days that I live in the U.S. I didn't find it yesterday, I don't find it today, and I don't believe that I would seek my happiness tomorrow.

I always tell myself that being in the U.S. is some kind of sorrows, because I feel like I'm living in an invisible prison. Since the first day of my residence, I have lived in the worst neighborhood of San Francisco. The neighborhood that I'm living is dirty, garbage everywhere, a lot of homeless with quite a number of drunks and drug dealers. Not to mention, the crazy guys or women who always yell out some fucking phrases on the street. Everyday I'm thinking how I can escape from this neighborhood, I tell myself if someday I can leave this neighborhood it will be my greatest relief.

For many people that you may not know me a lot, I'm a person who love traveling and hanging out in different places that I want to be, I also quite enjoy nightlife. Unfortunately, after I came to the country, I can't and I have never had an opportunity to do any of those because of my family's financial difficulties and the concerns of my own safety. I just mention that I live in a nasty neighborhood of San Francisco, I feel so scared every time when I get in and out from my home. I'm even more afraid to go outside at night, I want to protect myself from all the harassment and potential crimes in my neighborhood. Yes, it did help me to protect myself not being hurt, but it came with a price, I lost my social skills, having problem with people and becoming eccentric.

I really envy people who can travel around the country or outside the country, hanging out in many places with their friends, but except for envy, I can't do anything to have my dream becomes true, my dream is a distant dream, I can never realize my dream. Never, I was not able to realize it yesterday, I'm not able to realize it today, and I won't able to realize it tomorrow.

My life is always a song of sorrows. At this moment, what I really wish is to escape from the place that I'm living, escape from there means escape from my fucking life that I have suffered for many years, and it will be my greatest relief.


I feel down, and I guess the best way for me to smile again is to leave this nasty neighborhood forever. No other solutions can help me.

More about myself is still to come as I have decided to tell more about my story right here.